Home
OH inverted world [entries|friends|calendar]
cheese doodle jones

[ userinfo | livejournal userinfo ]
[ calendar | livejournal calendar ]

[01 Jun 2007|01:11am]
[ music | weakerthans "everything must go " ]

george wakes up
george washes his face
he kisses his wife
rubs his dog's head
and goes to work

george gets in his car
george gets stuck in traffic
getting stuck in traffic , makes george develop
resounding feelings
of self doubt.
solitude.
disenchantment.
a sense of trepidation.

george goes to work and works all day.
he clocks in
he's berated by his boss.
he adjusts his shirt
he clocks out

he drives home
he kisses his wife
and rubs his dogs head

it must feel good to be george jetson.

post comment

[21 May 2007|03:12am]
i'm back
1 comment|post comment

[15 Mar 2007|10:28pm]
[ mood | apathetic ]
[ music | elliott smith " going no where" ]

wednesday march 14

i stared at a small black rectangle
that a voice broadcasted from
it sat in a cup holder in my car
with change
that seemed to rattle as i changed gears

i heard george washington yell
so did lincoln
and that little man on the shiny one
who's initials have become his name

the voice on the phone complains
i tap my finger gently on the wheel
while the other hand lays on the back of my head
constructing a rat tail
i don't get why people ask me for advice
i'm not really good at it but i sigh and
string a yes or a yeah at the end of each
of her phrases

i can tell when i craft an answer
of ambiguous bullshit

she can't
95% of the time i'm talking out of my ass
she will buy it and we
will move on to the next set of
unfeasible questions.

my mind drifts off and i begin to dissect my past few nights
sketchy party
a fucking shIsty thief who stole shit from my car
being slapped
cruel intentions

like omg brian you're so cool !!!

4 comments|post comment

[04 Feb 2007|02:55pm]
Really Long Survey (over 200)
What is your name?:brian
Are you named after anyone?:my grandfather and the third president of the united states
What's your screename?:brianthomasxo ; kind of a joke but it stuck
Would you name a child of yours after you?:naw
If you were born a member of the opposite sex what would your name be?:brianna
If you could switch names with a friend who would it be?:no one i like my name
Are there any mispronounciations/typos that ppl do w/ your name constantly?:some people spell it" brain" like the thing in your head
Would you drop your last name if you became famous?:naw , but i could see it being done for privacy
Basics
Your gender::male
Straight/Gay/Bi::straight
Single?:pretty much yeah
If not, do you want to be?:
Birthdate::july 26 1987
Your age::19
Age you act::you can't really put a level of maturity assigned to an age level
Age you wish you were::i like my age
Your height::5'7 5'8
Eye color::brown
Happy with it?:yeah
Hair color::black
Happy with it?:yeah
Lefty/righty/ambidextrous::righty i can do some things with my left
Your living arrangement::mom brother and myself
Your family::see above plus father in missouri
Have any pets?:nope
Whats your job?:virginia aquarium
Piercings?:nope
Tattoos?:nope
Obsessions?:reeboks an old school vans
Addictions?:nope
Do you speak another language?:a bit of spanish
Have a favorite quote?:he who increases knowledge increases sorrow
Do you have a webpage?:if you count the myspace and lj
Deep Thoughts About Life and You in it
Do you live in the moment?:try to
Do you consider yourself tolerant of others?:very
Do you have any secrets?:everyone does
Do you hate yourself?:nope
Do you like your handwriting?:yeah , it looks like a doctor's go figure
Do you have any bad habits?:smoking
What is the compliment you get from most people?:" oh you're so smart" or " oh you're cute and funny" i don't take compliments well
If a movie was made about your life, what would it be called?:virginia beach a nightmare
What's your biggest fear?:to be in one of those i shouldn't be alive scenarios
Can you sing?:people think i can , but i don't think so
Do you ever pretend to be someone else just to look cool?:hell yeah
Are you a loner?:i'm reclusive
What are your #1 priorities in life?:get paid
If you were another person, would you be friends with you?:probably
Are you a daredevil?:naw
Is there anything you fear or hate about yourself?:nope
Are you passive or agressive?:a mix
Do you have a journal?:yeah
What is your greatest strength and weakness?:i'm pretty understanding. weakness i form judgments a lot of times to quickly
If you could change one thing about yourself, what would it be?:nothing , i'm content
Do you think you are emotionally strong?:someone said i was really emotionally mature , so yeah
Is there anything you regret doing/not doing in life?:nope
Do you think life has been good so far?:yeah
What is the most important lesson you've learned from life?:get bitches and paper
What do you like the most about your body?:teeth
And least?:i plea no contest
Do you think you are good looking?:you decide
Are you confident?:of course
What is the fictional character you are most like?:rocko from rocko's modern life
Are you perceived wrongly?:yeah
Do You...
Smoke?:yea
Do drugs?:nope
Read the newspaper?:regularly
Pray?:naw
Go to church?:nope
Talk to strangers who IM you?:depends
Sleep with stuffed animals?:nope
Take walks in the rain?:i try to avoid it
Talk to people even though you hate them?:i don't hate anyone
Drive?:yeah
Like to drive fast?:sometimes
Would or Have You Ever?
Liked your voice?:yeah
Hurt yourself?:no
Been out of the country?:yeah
Eaten something that made other people sick?:yeah
Been in love?:yeah
Done drugs?:yeah
Gone skinny dipping?:nope
Had a medical emergency?:yeah
Had surgery?:nope
Ran away from home?:nope
Played strip poker?:nope
Gotten beaten up?:nope
Beaten someone up?:close
Been picked on?:nope , but the black girls at the ice rink think i'm crazy
Been on stage?:yeah
Slept outdoors?:yeah
Thought about suicide?:no
Pulled an all nighter?:all the time , maude knows
If yes, what is your record?:52 hours sucka!!!
Gone one day without food?:yeah
Talked on the phone all night?:yeah
Slept together with the opposite sex w/o actually having sex?:yeah
Slept all day?:yeah
Killed someone?:nope
Made out with a stranger?:yeah
Had sex with a stranger?:naw
Thought you're going crazy?:every day
Kissed the same sex?:nope
Done anything sexual with the same sex?:nope
Been betrayed?:naw
Had a dream that came true?:sure
Broken the law?:everyone has
Met a famous person?:yeah
Have you ever killed an animal by accident?:yeah
On purpose?:nope
Told a secret you swore you wouldn't tell?:naw
Stolen anything?:yeah
Been on radio/tv?:yeah
Been in a mosh-pit?:yeah
Had a nervous breakdown?:nope
Bungee jumped?:nope
Had a dream that kept coming back?:yeah
Beliefs
Belive in life on other planets?:of course
Miracles?:it could happen
Astrology?:whatever
Magic?:kazaam with shaq gotta be true
God?:yeah
Satan?:sure
Santa?:haha
Ghosts?:of course
Luck?:not really
Love at first sight?:not really that's all lust
Yin and yang (that good cant exist w/o bad)?:nope
Witches?:yeah
Easter bunny?:for sure
Believe its possible to remain faithful forever?:yeah
Believe theres a pot of gold at the end of a rainbow?:nope
Do you wish on stars?:nope
Deep Theological Questions
Do you believe in the traditional view of Heaven and Hell?:i beg to differ
Do you think God has a gender?:nope
Do you believe in organized religion?:whatever floats your boat
Where do you think we go when we die?:in the ground or in a vase
Friends
Do you have any gay/lesbian friends?:yeah
Who is your best friend?:i got a bunch
Who's the one person that knows most about you?:probably my twin
What's the best advice that anyone has ever given to you?:"wrap your tool and you will be cool" - alan
Your favourite inside joke?:nothing comes to mind
Thing you're picked on most about?:haha
Who's your longest known friend?:arthur
Newest?:emily
Shyest?:
Funniest?:they are all funny
Sweetest?:
Closest?:
Weirdest?:we all are weird
Smartest?:we are all smart in different things
Ditziest?:i don't have friends like that
Friends you miss being close to the most?:i'm still close
Last person you talked to online?:david
Who do you talk to most online?:david , maude , arthur , shaka, bridget, and heather
Who are you on the phone with most?:bridget
Who do you trust most?:all of them
Who listens to your problems?:all of them
Who do you fight most with?:none , sometimes arthur but nothing serious
Who's the nicest?:all of them
Who's the most outgoing?:all of them
Who's the best singer?:your mom
Who's on your shit-list?:haha
Have you ever thought of having sex with a friend?:not really , it could happen
Who's your second family?:ben's house
Do you always feel understood?:not all the time
Who's the loudest friend?:i don't know
Do you trust others easily?:yeah
Who's house were you last at?:bens
Name one person who's arms you feel safe in::haha
Do your friends know you?:yeah for the most part
Friend that lives farthest away::miles
Love and All That
Do you consider love a mistake?:naw
What do you find romantic?:me
Turn-on?:intelligence , independence
Turn-off?:drunk
First kiss?:hmm middle schoolish
If someone u had no interest in had interest in dating u how would u feel?:flattered but i wouldn't try to be involved
Do you prefer knowing someone before dating them or going:yeah
Have u ever wished it was more socially acceptable 4 a girl 2 ask a guy out:nope, most of the time that's what happens to me
Have you ever been romantically attracted to someone physically unattractiv:naw
Do you think the opposite sex finds you good looking?:sure i guess
What is best about the opposite sex?:teeth
What is the worst thing about the opposite sex?:everyone knows everyone
What's the last present someone gave you?:a sea turtle magnet from my boss so i can keep my schedule on
Are you in love?:nope
Do you consider your significant other hot?:i don't know yet
Who Was the Last Person...
That haunted you?:no one
You wanted to kill?:no one
That you laughed at?:the kid at the ice rink
That laughed at you?:same kid
That turned you on?:hmm
You went shopping with?:maude
That broke your heart?:no one
To disappoint you?:a lot of people do
To ask you out?:i'd rather not say
To make you cry?:haven't cried since my aunt died
To brighten up your day?:virginia at work , brought me a cheeseburger
That you thought about?:no one right now
You saw a movie with?:ben and arthur probably
You talked to on the phone?:brother
You talked to through IM/ICQ?:david
You saw?:va
You lost?:no one
Right This Moment...
Are you going out?:nope
Will it be with your significant other?:nope
Or some random person?:haha
What are you wearing right now?:aquarium sweater , polo , and khakis
Body part you're touching right now::my head
What are you worried about right now?:nothing
What book are you reading?:plato's five dialogues but i think i have already
What's on your mousepad?:i don't have one
Use 5 words to describe how you're feeling::super super super super restless
Are you bored?:a bit
Are you tired?:yeah
Are you talking to anyone online?:nope
Are you talking to anyone on the phone?:nope
Are you lonely or content?:the latter
Are you listening to music?:the harry potter trailer
Take this survey | Find more surveys
Bzoink - The Original Survey Site
post comment

[01 Feb 2007|02:06pm]
i love the cold , it brings out the candor in people's eyes despite the imprecations of their hearts.
post comment

[21 Jan 2007|12:19pm]
[ music | pavement ]

i've been sweating infidelities
my breath even tastes like them
there isn't a mint out there that can help
now i think this is the right time to tell you

the other day priscilla was hurt
i hurt her
with my hands
with my feet
with my brain
after a one sided argument
she yelled at me in pain
i hit her with my left hand and not my right
cause that's slightly inhumane

i wipe my lower end with my right hand
and i think about that before every hand shake

she laid distraught on all fours
i left her outside to fend for her self
in the blustery weather
that turns your tears into frozen trails
that lead to the tiny cameras in your brain
your eyes

i awoke the next morning at dawn and by then
priscilla's temperature was at an all time low
she stood there without moving
she complained that her feet hurt
intense pain
so i took her to the closes emergency room

i walked in and explained my situation
to the man behind the desk
i told him i didn't know the girl's medical history
she has always seemed fine to me
ever since i've met her

he told me everything goes bad and must die
he told me people assume their lives
and the things in them
to be invincible

he told me to sign here and here
and oh initial here

i sit in the waiting room
across a poorly constructed table
were different magazines with snazzy headings to catch the eye

"lose weight in ten days"

" what are we doing in iraq ?"

" cheap tires"

a man across from me sat with his back against a chair
and his hands crossed in front of him
he kept checking the time
on his wrist watch
and looked at the guy at the counter and
shook his head
once or twice
in disgust

a lady sat to the right of me griping her collar
as if it were to fall off
she watch the tiny television in the corner
commercials about refinancing your homes
befogged her concentration

she was older
i'll guess 63
you guess 70
that way we both can be off

30 mins later the older lady left
about 45 mins the man left

so i sat by myself watching ellen degeneres
comment about observational humor

brian .. brian .. i scampered to my feet as my name
was called by the man behind the desk

he told me she was alright
he told me she could have killed both herself and i
he told me she needed new brake pads
he told me that will be $318.95

8 comments|post comment

[31 Dec 2006|12:11pm]
maybe it's the weather
maybe i'm afraid
maybe i'm not fit for this
maybe i'm enslaved
maybe it's your fault

most likely mine

maybe i'm tired
maybe it's timing
maybe i'm scared
maybe i'm confused
maybe i just needed someone to fill a void

most likely you
4 comments|post comment

[26 Dec 2006|10:35pm]
i'm terrible at this
we both are unfortunately remiss in
this thing called life
i wreaked of cigarette smoke
you talked
and told me what
the world meant to you
i laughed and joked
i hummed a stolid tune
followed by a myriad of compliments
but you and i both know
compliments are
just
a simple disguise for hidden
intentions
intentions we're scared to admit
cause the world has got us caught
up with social standards
standards that our
fathers and mothers followed
standards that we still follow
standards that we are scared not to follow
you laughed when i said this
i laughed when i said this
we both can't stand saying this
2 comments|post comment

[17 Dec 2006|09:42pm]
i sit and watch this poultryless youth
explain what they think life is
their ideals are just over simplistic
mambo jambo
and yes i did say
mambo jambo

truth be told no one knows what it is
if they did
the solution
would be 3 easy payments of 19.99 on late night
television
it's to be written in your pajamas on a blank notebook
when you look out your window at night
at big balls of gas for the answers
people call these balls of gas stars
and stars are millions of miles away
so i doubt they will have an answer


it's all whimsical


they complain about going to school day after day
guided by the sturdy hands of their parent's
who want them to have it better.
chances are you'll have it better
with a four year degree and the diction of a monkey
you can go far !!!

don't be grateful for what you have
be grateful for what you don't have
3 comments|post comment

[02 Dec 2006|01:32am]
[ music | mates of state ]

the sound of the radio carries through the night sky
and the butt of this cigarette makes smoke signals
smoke signals
just like the indians use to do
or a poor man who knows S.O.S and is lost in the pacific
and as the year comes to a close i've been doing a lot of thinking
i usually think this time of the year
might be the passing of months
might be when my brain works best
i think about the world
cause i try to remain
humane
trying to remain humane is slightly insane

3 comments|post comment

[27 Nov 2006|11:57pm]
<td align="center"> brian jefferson --
[adjective]:

Benevolent to a fault

'How will you be defined in the dictionary?' at QuizGalaxy.com</td>
2 comments|post comment

[10 Nov 2006|11:32am]
[ mood | horny ]
[ music | nick drake ]

it's cold again
and you're still sitting here
inside from the blustery weather
and the unanswered lies you left on your door step
your face is frigid
and unshaven
your eyes are desolate only ignited
by the mere sense of deference
when someone understands you
you're wondering if there was any truth
truth to the malediction a witch uttered to you on that
late october afternoon
last year

but you'll still sit there and smoke your cigarettes
drink your coffee and wonder if there is still any humility left
in you're cold bones

you shouldn't have thoughts like this
you're only a boy
you're only 19
you're only brian jefferson

5 comments|post comment

[15 Oct 2006|12:36pm]
people these days...
people these days either hate me or love me
there isn't an intermediate or median if you will

i've always been pretty introspective
to the point where i could care less of what you say or have said
i'm starting to say things aloud or "out loud" which is the way most people process it

this either causes massive confusion or resentment
like talking beyond the spectrum of your own thoughts

i don't try to make people feel or look stupid on purpose
the latter, most people do a good job themselves of accomplishing anyways
my intelligence is a mere spurious influx i use just to flaunt for mere veneration

basically: " shits and giggles"

if you get to know me you'll discover i'm not mean
people take what i say to heart way too easily

i'm getting tired of the mother fuckers
the ones that use obscene sign language in the form of
a girl's gender area to allude being a poltroon

don't ridicule me

the party scene is overrated my good fellows
a bunch of benighted fuckers that sit around on couches
figuring a way to speak to the opposite sex

i'd rather be doing something else

i guess i'm burnt out from it.

the age 15 was eons ago.
5 comments|post comment

[30 Sep 2006|11:28am]
my generation scares me
2 comments|post comment

[02 Sep 2006|05:10pm]
sitting in this empty house with
resounding self doubt
i lay dormant nestled in between two dogs
i'm getting too comfortable
too comfortable for this silence
i watch my phone light up and do a dance on the coffee table

ok stop

it really didn't look like a dance , more of an epileptic seizure

minus the convulsions

ok go

i pick up the phone and hear a voice on the under end, spew a
string of words

that piece together in my mind as a welcome phrase

i responded like you ought to do , with one back

it didn't take long for me to tell

her liver was full of ethanol

her slurred speech didn't suit her well

it never suits anyone well

a smirk seemed to dawn on my face ,
like it always does when i'm uncomfortable

i answered a slew of questions that oddly became reoccurring

i sat and lite a cigarette and hung up the phone

i seriously can't stand talking to people when they are under the influence

i received a call back , and she spoke of love this time

the love that i had for another apparently

i laughed and shook it off trying to be polite

i've never been too good at telling girls i don't like them

by this time the paper on the cigarette was completely gone

and silence beckoned the phone

i'm getting too comfortable in this silence

i'm getting too comfortable for this silence
6 comments|post comment

[16 Aug 2006|10:44pm]
[ mood | curious ]
[ music | mates of state ]

disillusionment clouds my mind these days

but being disillusioned is in a sense being illusional

cause i only see and understand what i want to

provided by the sunlight that strokes my face

and these worn shoes on my feet

i'm exhausted these days

figuratively speaking

exhausted from the down right ignorance and stupidity of people

sometimes i question how the world is, mixed up with confusion , but bares

the resemblance of a beautiful blue marble

from far away , in a place they call outer space

i've figured i can't get worked up with things that are beyond my control

i can only sit here and exhibit my own free will

and my free will is easily misunderstood for jokes and jest

i'm really not that funny

when someone makes a clandestine statement ,

and says they are kidding at the end

most likely they aren't

most likely i'm not

3 comments|post comment

[02 Aug 2006|10:47pm]
[ music | "flux= rad " pavement ]

the other night i sat in the hospital ER
with my head feeling like jello

raspberry jello , cause that's my favourite

turning 90 degrees to my left sat a robust lady with

red lesions all over her body, and the temperament of her eyes masked by mirrored sunglasses

i believe she was sleeping , which was noticeable by, the endless spit falling down the declivities of her chin

i simply rotate, the new friendship bracelet with my name and date of birth on it.

brian thomas jefferson

M

@$@!@$@#$ and a social security number i don't feel like sharing


7/26/1900

no i'm not 106 but i felt the gaze of a lady closer to that age upon me

she asked what i was there for and i told her

she said she was 92 and her lungs we're filled with fluid

i stared at the mechanical sundial on the wall

and continued to

wait like a hopeless child until my name is uttered by the bearded medicine man


i felt infinitesimal amongst these other people

other people with real problems

other people who needed help more than i

i was there for just a simple MRI

hours later

i sat on a bed and watched a doctor show pictures of my brain

i was free to go


my disoriented walking was due to the medicine

i had taken earlier

but for once i feel my problems are insignificant

6 comments|post comment

[27 Jul 2006|02:24am]
relishing in the twilight of my youth

this age 19 feels the same as 18

july 26 is just a mere day i concide with

peachy just peachy
4 comments|post comment

[14 Jul 2006|12:26am]
the other day i took a good hard look in the mirror

it wasn't really a hard look, fairly easy actually.

but besides discovering a ground breaking paradox

or a cure for cancer

i stared at a small papula drawn on my skin


stop right there

instead of drawing from anything of significance for the basis of this entry . i smatter on about the effects of my life.


brilliant completely brilliant

not really but i guess that's how the world is

we're enticed by social debauchery and BIG TITS!!!

but from this obscure tree house

i sit indian style and watch the world go by

i've figured my indifference has had a monotonous affect

i don't take most things people consider to be serious, seriously

is this intentional or the trials of growing up ?

ah , all i want to do on this is rant

i have no one to rant to

but this is more my own stupidity than anyone elses

and for that i blame myself

i can't blame erno rubik

he did nothing to me but develop a cube people spend hours trying to figure out

and that's how i look at this life

i'll spend seconds , minutes , hours, days , fortnights , weeks , months,years


trying to figure out


sincerely

c.d. jones
6 comments|post comment

[10 Jul 2006|09:11pm]
[ music | the weakerthans ]

virginia aquarium

time: 11:32 p.m.

current feeling : altruistic



please stop

and during this discourse i've said it to myself

thousands, no wait

millions, no wait

trillions, of times

but to myself , i can't speak it out loud

i can only just sit with a condoning grin on my face

she continues to talk about her troubles and

how traffic and her are best friends

why do people feel the need to explain their whole background

in a matter of minutes?

so far i know her mother's maiden name

and the password to her garage

we don't even know each others names

but i guess i had an inviting expression on my face

if she wants me to write a biography , she'll have to schedule an appointment

i'd simply get up and leave but i have this underlying illusion
that people have something of validity to say when they speak

this illusion often puts me in predicaments quite like this one

this illusion is often wrong

i lay one hand gently on my lap and began fiddling with my hair with the other


she continues to talk about how she hates oscar wilde

a copy of one of his books lays between us

mere coincidence i think not

i told her i was mildly retarded

and exited stage left

3 comments|post comment

navigation
[ viewing | most recent entries ]
[ go | earlier ]

Advertisement